Monday morning

Monday morning, on the way to work. Federal Highway is unusually congested. That is never a good sign for the start of the week.

I desperately seek the very limited fun factor in my stationary vehicle; the noisy yet hilarious radio station and the most important thing is they bring joy even to the gloomiest morning. The 3 stooges have been my supple dosage of fun every working morning. But not tis morning.

Instead of feeling jolly listening to them talking about anything and everything under the sun , the deejays were paying their tribute to the late Malaysia director or rather the story teller. The heart was filled with lead, was much much heavier than a month ago when I first hear about MJ's passing on. It was suffocating and was forcing to switch to CD just to find a niche to suck in all the Monday blues.

And the sky is gray, the Malaysian driver is inconsiderate as usual, the traffic is slower than slow, the fear for future is still there somewhere, that very moment, i feel very much like pulling over and mourn for the great lost to those who appreciate what Yasmin Ahmad.

PRICK!!! (oopps, mind my language)

The funny thing is, during the short period of 18 months since i am back in this country, I bumped into him twice. Of all the human races in the world!!!!!
Well....come to think of it, it wasnt that big of an impact, the feeling was like seeing a rat, I was disgusted. It is more like I despise his existence at whole.
More disgusting matter is he was with a pretty lady. That is just plain criminal now, how is it possible that this species of prick is still out there preying???
He should be neutered and told to the whole man kind all his dirty, sleazy acts and banned to go near any human with heart especially those with good heart.

Ok i admit tat i sounded a bit too much, a little too aggressive for someone who couldnt care less about wat's going on and almost freezing point cold, I dun even use exclamation marks.

I guess pricks do exist and I happened to have met a few throughout my living years. If they didnt kill me, they will only make me stronger, right??

Oh please please please, no more pricks for me,eventhough i am stronger now, doesnt mean tat i have to meet pricks all my life. There are enough rats and cockroaches out there in the world, we could all use less pricks.

便当

病了快两周，吃了了两周的药，面包及白粥，快疯掉！味蕾都被杀清光了！
今天算是不错了，只是头一点晕，嗓子有点疼，还可以集中精神工作呢。

放午饭，不饿也没胃口，就翻杂志打发时间。坐着坐着，头越是晕，眼睛不能聚焦看书了，想起要吃药了。肚子空空不行啊。
到楼下买个便当吃再吃药。小食店里没有平日的人潮，我在那数十样菜肴前来回逛了不下十次都不知想吃些什么。
深呼吸，眼睛一闭，就是它。买了我平常都不会点来吃的红烧五花肉，心想这么长时间没吃猪肉了，应该会很美味。

满怀希望回到办公室坐下开吃。柴，就一个字，害我对猪肉的美好回忆都破坏了。怎么可以将一块夹有肥膏的五花肉做得那么柴，这做菜的也实在太有才了。叹口气，低头继续咀嚼那肉，心里决定病好了就马上下厨，给自己准备便当。

人家还是4份1个病人，就是不让我吃一顿好的。别想太多了，还是吃药吧。

这是怎么了？？
愉快的旅程回来就病得乱七八糟，病了一周也没有要好起来的现象。
先是头疼，关节疼，感冒。感冒好了，开始嗓子疼，接着发烧。嗓子好点，不再发热就来个咳嗽，还要干咳的那个。
咳嗽还没见得好点，今天大清早给我来个大贺礼，流鼻涕打喷嚏，吃什么，喝什么也没味道。这是怎么一回事？？？

日日新鲜，日日不同呢。

Am trying to jot down as much as much as possible about this trip.

Everything was decided in a jiffy and I didnt exactly plan much, just wanted to go back to a place that I have spent some great years in. Mom and her sister are my company to this trip or sometimes my baggage (just dont tell them).

The flight with Gulf Air was fairly pleasant despite the long hours despite the delay of the connecting flight. So far I am a quite loyal local carrier supporter and tis flight will definitely open up my option to others. And the generosity of the sky nannies (that's wat was stitched on their apron when they serve food & beverage and I do think it's kind of cool)on distributing liquor is definitely a thumb's up. It was the very fist time I got high just after 3 sips of my vodka tonic 40000 miles mid air.

After more than half a day in the mid air and we arrived in Heathrow with open pores, bird nest hair, blood shoot eyes, cracked lips and still pretty much excited (partly because we finally can stretch our legs). It was in 10 at night in London, the night was quiet and cold, quietly in my heart I was celebrating my arrival in this land only showing a hint a grin on my face which none will understand.

Do you know there are just times when you feel sooooo depressed until you just want to drop everything, ignore there's only about 2k in the bank account and fly back to UK and drown yourself in the gray and bleak weather there.

I know....because I constantly feel like that. London to me, always is a sad city and always will remain one. My memories of London,cold,wet,gray, the smell of weed and cold(even the people there is as cold as the weather). All those makes up to the London I know and familiar with. And for some reason i missed it a lot a lot. I especially missed drowning myself in the whole sad and cold atmosphere. Where no ones actually cares if ur tears are all over the face while walking dwn Oxford St. The english coldness kind of blend in well with the whole weather and gray skyline.


From one depressing country I came back to a sun filled country where I thought I will be far away from sorrow and loneliness. But little that i know there are parts of one's soul will never ever be shine by the sun. So from one deep valley I slumped myself into another deeper one. And i now feel so so much going back to the beginning of all these.

I am not quite sure what is going on in my head.

But i do know i missed London terribly........